I cant believe I can say this but I am going to get my celiac plexus block for France at the moment! They are starting to get uncomfortable but I need to make sure I can drink wine and eat French food while we are traveling the French Riviera and Paris. This girl needs French Food!
I am grateful for the celiac plexus blocks. I would never be in this fat happy place that I am in without them. To be honest I am not happy about the fat part but I am working on it. I am back on my diet and not cheating. I had to eat gluten for a biopsy that never happened. The insurance company wouldn’t approve it so I ate all this gluten and got myself super sick and in a flare up that I could barely even put on clothes. I am at the tail end of the misery and my skin is still dry and itchy but getting better everyday. I can eat food, it hurts a little but not as bad when I am blocked. So the downfall is I forget I have a gluten problem as well as dairy, soy, wheat, beef, shellfish, peanuts and preservatives and whatever else isn’t from the paleo era. Because somehow my body is still a caveman.
The insurance company has fought us on these blocks this year since I got new long term insurance. I try to explain to them that I hope they get sick one day and can not eat food without feeling like they are going to die from the pain of digestion. A pain that can bring you to your knees, make you cry and wish you would die. The pain is horrific. But the insurance company wants to know why I am getting pancreatic cancer treatments. Do I have pancreatic cancer? We were supposed to find out this week and the insurance wouldn’t approve my procedure. So we still don’t know if the pancreas has turned into cancer or if its just pain from the pancreas eating itself again. The diagnosis is devastating no matter what it is, however I am already living with it. Nothing a diagnosis can change about that.
Well we are almost to the doctor and I like to mentally prepare for sedation and ketamine. That is why I chose to write before I go in. Writing helps calm my mind and share my story of being disabled… beautifully disabled. This is block number thirty (30). Thirty pancreatic cancer blocks and I am still alive. The pain is treated with the blocks and the meds. That is why some days, mentally, I just break down. No one can tell me why this pain is so horrendous. Thanks to the insurance company. Thank you. For delaying treatment. My life. My hope. My survival rate.
I mentally prepare myself every injection. How else do you cope with being the only person documented on the planet to have so many blocks? This is not a normal routine treatment. This is a rare treatment only used for end stage pancreatic cancer. How can I not be a little sad some days. Today though, I am happy. In a good place and feeling good. I started a new treatment regiment I make. I have to say it has me feeling 100% better than the day before. I am on day four and it’s working. I will write a blog about the treatment I made. It can be used by anyone and is antiviral and antibiotic and its natural. An essential oil. It’s amazing how nature can prolong our lives when used in conjunction with mental healing, emotional healing and physical healing.
I’m about to go in for my block. Number 30. But today. I don’t think about that. I think about the trip to France. The trip I have dreamed about. Believed in. Mentally pictured so many times in my meditations. And now here I am going with the love of my life to the country that my heart gravitates towards. Maybe this could be the change. The change that makes me even happier.
Here’s to the future!