Well, it sure has been a long time since my last blog. I have been overcoming my stroke that I had in August and part of the recovery has left me in a daze sometimes. I will stare at the computer not able to type or say the words that I wanted to say. My brain tricks itself and I see objects and words that are not really there. I am unable to look up and have to wear a hat and sunglasses when I go out. So I am forcing myself to sit here and share my struggles and battles so that you can see your life is not that bad!
I mention to people that I had a stroke and no one knew. I mean, it was all over facebook and Instagram or maybe I did not post much about it. I don't know. At least I can share the story, again, in one place.
In August one morning I was unable to move when I woke up. I was also unable to open my eyes. I saw nothing but black. I could not move my arms, my legs, I barely was breathing. I fought so hard to open my eyes but I couldn't. I tried to scream for my mom but nothing came out. I imagine three to five minutes went by where I was paralyzed frozen in my body, unable to talk or move. It was horrific.
I started to be able to move a little after about five minutes and I was able to get my voice to scream out for my mom. It took over ten minutes for her to get to me. When she did, my body was tingly and numb and waking up everywhere. It hurt so bad. I immediately knew I had a stroke. I had TIA's in the past and this was similar but far worse than an TIA I have ever had.
Somehow she got me up and I hopped around like a rabbit on fire. MY feet burned from nerve pain touching the ground. I was hunched over trembling, stuttering and crying. My mother rushed me to the fire station where the Maricopa Fire Department deemed it a stroke and took me by ambulance to the hospital.
At the hospital, it was deemed a stroke and I was sent home to recover. Upon further analysis of the cause of the stroke we learned that my heart had stopped and that I had also been awake but unconscious for over two hours. For over two hours!! I am extremely lucky to be alive. And not be brain damaged, well any worse than I already am!
I had to learn to laugh and smile and just get through the tough days this past year. This stroke stopped me in my tracks and made me realize I have to be resting and I have to not be stressed out about life. I need to just let my body heal and see where the road leads.
I have had TIA's since the stroke but I am now stroke free for over a month and I am working so hard to keep it that way. Being diagnosed with Parkinson's was horrific and I am so sad about it but I am also relieved that we now know what to do, how to treat me and why my body is failing.
Thank you for supporting me and being kind during these dark and tumultuous times that I have endured. I am doing much better mentally, physically and overall my happiness has come back. For now, I rest in bed and find projects to keep me busy. On good days I workout, I do pilates and yoga. On better, better days I try to get out of the house and go for a bike ride. That is my life now.